So we used Alta Vista. We didn’t know what to search for. We found some tribute sites for various bands. These were very boring and very slow-loading and played repetitive song clips that required us to turn our speakers off.
Then, we found a “chat room”.
The chat room was designed like a “virtual bar.” People were chatting and buying each other “virtual drinks.” You could talk to someone who might or might not be a woman in real life and buy him/her a virtual gin and tonic. Or a virtual beer. This seemed absurd, and once we were logged into the chat room, we said so.

WHY ARE U GUYS BUYING EACH OTHER VIRTUAL DRINKS? WHY DON’T YOU JUST LEAVE THE COMPUTER AND GO TO A REAL BAR.

SCREW OFF

SCREW YOU LOSER. HERE’S A STUPID VIRTUAL BEER. ENJOY, LOSER.

We were then “flamed” and locked out of the chat room. At this point, we turned off the computer and went back to our dorm room.
“The internet is terrible,” we said.
“This will never catch on.”
And you know what happened next… it never did catch on, and remained a minor niche activity — like, say, curling, or Ham Radio.
Wait.
That isn’t what happened at all.